A loss of confidence

A couple of weeks ago on a wet morning I was very lucky, or my Guardian Angels were looking out for me big time.

As I drove round a round-about I lost control of the car as it fish-tailed into the left hand lane. Luckily the lane was clear and I managed to regain control of the car. I drove very tentatively for the remainder of my journey. I've thought about what might have caused this - a rear tyre that was very low when I checked it soon after - drizzly rain so the road could have been slippery - I was listening to an audio book on my iphone - headphones in - so not focused on the driving.

What I have really noticed since then is that I have lost confidence - in the car and in my ability to control it. I really feel the lack of confidence when I'm in a similar situation. Back in 1992 I had a similar accident when I lost control of the car on a gravel road I travelled every day to work. It rolled 3 times and I remember the car seemed to be heading for the trees on the side of the road. It ended up on its wheels in the middle of the road with my briefcase, sunglasses and other stuff strewn along the road behind the car. I was ok, lots of little cuts from the broken windscreen made my shirt like a sieve but no cuts on my skin. It took me awhile to go down that road again. I've just realised, I got a different car after that and so never drove it again - like I am now. I guess it'll just take a bit of time and I'll be back driving like I usually do - not taking risks but driving a bit faster than I am now, my nerves settled and my stomach back where it belongs.

This loss of confidence is in contrast to regaining confidence in other areas of my life - especially working with a couple of clients over the last couple of days - I'm feeling more confident than I have for a very long time and it has been noticeable to others. Very strange.